Edge-A-Pus Rex

Hey Grizzly.

Don't call me that Joe.

Why? That's what you are, a giant grizzly bear who shits in the woods.

I didn't shit Joe. And I'm not a giant.

Yeah, you are. But you're gentle, so it's alright Grizzly Gentle Giant.

Fuck you Joe.

Edge, come on. Come on Edge.

You can't call her that anymore.

Lauren!

Princess!

Just cause she drinks doesn't mean I can't call her Edge. You'll always be Edge to me, Edge. You're my Edge, and My Grizzly Gentle Giant.

Don't call me that Joe!

Uh oh. She's getting angry! We'd better try and tame her. Where's a goddam chair? Where's a goddam fucking chair when you need one? Fuck!

Joe, maybe you should back off.

Yeah Joe!

Ahh! The Beast stirs. Oh Great Gentle Giant, what wouldst though have me call thoust?

Princess.

I'll call you Princess, when I cum in your face.

Joe!

Jesus Joe!

Oh Pappas, my Pappas. Willst though save me from the raving Colossus? The ravage beast flapping it's tiny arms in despair?

My arms are not tiny! They're gigantic, like the rest of me.

Ah, that's cute Edge, that's really cute. It appears the beast has deformed vision, there is hope for us yet!

What are you talking about?

Ahh my Pappas, you naiveté beseeches you. The Grizzly may yet spare you.

Grizzly?

Me.

Why?

Evidently I took a shit in the woods.

She fucking shat in the woods, like a fucking animal. FUCK!

I didn't!

Ahhhhh yeah, ya did. You fucking took a shit in the woods and probably wiped your ass on the ground like a, like a fucking dinosaur.

What?!

Princess, did you shit is the woods?

No! I had to pee, so I took some tissues into the trees. It was like 2 in the morning.

Well, that's not so bad.

Don't believe her my Pappas, you've been captured by her spell. That Tyrannosaurs. They can't be trusted. Just look into those beady colossal eyes. Wait! Don't! They'll turn you to stone, probably.

Isn't that Medusa? Does she have snakes coming out of her head too?

What? No. Why would she have snakes coming out of her head? Do you see any snakes?

No, I just...

Oh Pappas, my Pappas. You're innocence is endearing.

Whatever Joe.

No, FUCK YOU Joe!

Oh Edge. What's wrong? What's up my little Edge? My little Edge-y Poo. My little Colossal Edgey-Pie. My Tyrannosaurus Edge-y. My Edge-a-pus Rex.